Musings | Baby, It’s Cold Outside.

It’s been a rainy, windy London since I got back from sun and shine Italia.

And baby, it’s cold outside.

And it’s Christmas.

 

I’ve always thought that Christmas is both a joyful and sorrowful day. I can’t exactly explain why it is so, just feels like it. While some celebrate it with much happiness, there will be a few who silently reminisce on the heartaches this day reminds them of. Some years, I’d be absolutely delighted on Christmas; some other years, as you can guess, I’d much rather be on my own and let nostalgia take over. This is one of those years – the latter, I mean.

We survived a grand history adventure in Italy and it has been swell. But now that I’ve returned to a quiet home on Christmas, I am feeling both relieved and lonely. I need this solitude, yet secretly the loneliness creeps in and infuses doubts and thoughts inappropriate for the season. Christmas is supposed to be all about the snow, the hot chocolate and the love, isn’t it? (And fairy lights!) 

Photo: Fairy lights make me happy.

 

Nevertheless, it IS Christmas and I mustn’t let the bitterness overflow. Some things are best kept at bay. 🙂 I can wallow in my own self-nostalgic moments but I must also spread the cheer and happiness.

What is Christmas without the love?

So here’s a short cover I did on Christmas Eve (because I was procrastinating and I felt like singing. Don’t judge!). Hope you like it, it’s not perfect but it felt like the moment to do it anyway, lol.

https://soundcloud.com/alexianatouillia/merry-christmas-darling-glee

 

I miss you. I don’t know who I miss exactly but my heart is aching with this longing, this sense of absence. I cannot explain this strange emotion because this yearning is not directed at anyone in particular. All I know is I can hear my heart speaking to me in volumes about this person whose presence I am pining for, yet I know not who this person is. My heart keeps uttering “I wish you were here” over and over again but who are YOU? Do you exist? And if you do, where in the world are you now? Why have you come into my mind and befuddle my heart? Who…or what am I seeking for? This is all so confusing to me, I can barely stand this pang of sadness knowing you’re not here with me…whoever you are. 

Where are you when I need you most? 

 

Photo: Cinnamon chimney cake & Bailey's hot chocolate muahahaha

Have myself a merry, little Christmas.~ 

Merry Christmas, lovelies. Have a joyful celebration and a happy New Year!

Toodles. ♥

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