I was updating my Facebook profile picture just the other day when I paused, backtracked and clicked open my “Profile Pictures” album. I started going through it one by one, from the very first picture of myself I have posted on Facebook to the one I have just put up. I realized all these photos weren’t just random selfie photos I have taken out of vanity – each and every one of them had some sort of story to it. And what better to do in the very last few days of 2013 than to reminisce? 🙂

When I was much younger, I used to believe that I will grow up looking rather different than I was then, maybe turn into a gorgeous Disney princess, lol who knows? Of course, the years passed…and I still look very much like myself. The chubby cheeks which have been (and always will be, I gather) chubby all my life; my little buttony nose very much unlike my dad’s (or sister’s) tall and finely sculpted ones; and my eyes…(rather large eyes for an Asian, may I immodestly add). I sure didn’t transform much over the years, much less look like a Disney princess today. But that wasn’t the only thing I have noticed from the 31 pictures of myself. I saw different persons, inside, at each stage. Some innocent youth has been shed off in the process while the harshness of reality aged me and the fine lines it caused have never really gone away. It shows, it really does. But in each stage, I have always managed to find happy. And I am so thankful for that.

My latest happy – sun, sea and Italy. 

As with every year (and everyone), I have been doing a little recap of 2013. Facebook has been nagging me to “See My 2013 Year in Review” and to “look back at my 20 biggest moments from the past year”. Indeed. 2013 has not come short of its ups and downs. I probably have more than just 20 big moments! Just like every year, there have been much tears, laughters, joys and sorrows. But the lessons learnt in this past five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes are invaluable and never the same. I have made wonderful, lovely friends and strengthen some familiar bonds. At the same time, I wonder if I may have lost one very good and dear old friend. *sigh*

I survived the work place with awesome friends who guided and supported me throughout and with strong realization that I have much to learn. So much, it will never end. I became slightly more aggressive (no thanks to nursing, really) and knew I needed to be firm and fierce if I were to withstand the rest of my nursing career. Yet at the same time, it was so difficult for me. I can hardly say no to almost anyone on a daily basis, what more be a fighter and growl back at people/things I disagree with? But I gotta be assertive, I must. And Life in every way has been throwing out obstacles for me to practice but I just haven’t overcome that fear of saying no and hurting someone. I will, I promise I will. 2014 will see that. 🙂

I am not entirely lost, though. 2013 also saw the day I stood up for my dreams. I couldn’t be happier to have been accepted into King’s College London to pursue my nursing degree and for a while, I thought I had to give up that dream. While they try to assure me that I am still young and will have other opportunities, I disagreed. Second chances don’t always come by. I wanted it bad enough, and fought tooth and nail for it. Victoriously, here I am, in London, counting down to New Year’s (while my 2 soon-to-be-due essays lay abandoned wtf zunny). I couldn’t be happier.

But do you know what is even more blissful? To be able to share this dream with my dear soul mate and yes, traveling the world while we’re at it. Life has seen us singing on top of Empire State building and frolicking in front of the Statue of LIberty in New York City in 2011. Now Life is seeing us leave our footprints at just about every other iconic architectures there are in Europe. We are terribly blessed and I am terribly grateful. 2014 will be an amazing year indeed. 😀

Our selca needs are insatiable. Lol. There is an entire album dedicated to our vanity but let’s not go there now. 😀 

 

On a more personal note, 2013 has reminded me that opportunities are everywhere, we have to be brave to reach out and grab it. 2013 has also shown me that love can happen just about anywhere and any time, if you let it. Be it at the airport…or at a local weekend market. Sometimes, even while getting lost in the streets, in the rain or under pretty fairy lights adorning trees. Any time, anywhere. 🙂

 

So, here’s to 2014: 

 

To new beginnings; to new friendships; to love; and to more globe-trotting adventures. Not to mention, of course, to great results and graduating with flying colours, LOL!

I don’t have any resolutions (because I no longer believe in making them) but I can still make my wish: May I not let my fear hold me back from my wanderlust, whirlwind romances, and a lifetime of memories. 2014 is looking bright for me, for I have so many grand plans I wish to carry out. I will definitely keep you guys posted on the progress, just need to kick start them! 😀

kushandwizdom:

Everything love

 

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes,
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year in the life?

How about love? 

 

How did you measure your year in the life? 🙂

 

Happy New Year, everyone.

 

Toodles. ♥

I thought I was strong.

I thought I would make it through the night, unscathed.

I thought that we were all going to be strong together.

 

 

How very wrong, I was.

 

Perhaps all of us had the same terrifying secret desire – all dreading the day to materialize because we somewhat knew what was going to happen by the end of the night.

The day was lovely. I went back to the ward in the morning to say hello to some colleagues on shift, and the people I love. Had to send Mom off to the bus station after that and we had a great time together, had lunch and did the whole mother-daughter bonding (I really enjoy these sessions). Made my way back to finally meet up with my beautiful ladies.

We had a good dinner and of course, a great catch up session. Nothing feels more homely than spending time with these ladies. If there is any other way to describe them, they are my home away from home.

We were once strangers and now we are forever bonded.

 

We fought so hard that night, to keep the atmosphere light. Well, we certainly didn’t make it through. Saying goodbye was hard; letting go after our hugs was even harder. The tears just came and it wouldn’t stop. We ended up having a tight group hug. Trying to absorb the emotions, to live the moment.

Sure, for some, a year isn’t very long. One year makes 12 months; imagine the things we could do together!

I can’t find the cure to this infectious love, and I don’t intend to.

To my dearest viruses, this song’s for you. ♥

 

 

Come stop your crying,
It’ll be all right.
Just take my hand
And hold it tight.
I will protect you,
From all around you
I will be here, don’t you cry.

For one so small,
You seem so strong.
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm.
This bond between us
Can’t be broken
I will be here, don’t you cry.

‘Cause you’ll be in my heart
Yes, you’ll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
You’ll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You’ll be here in my heart…
…Always.

Why can’t they understand
The way we feel
They just don’t trust
What they can’t explain
I know we’re different
But deep inside us
We’re not that different at all

Don’t listen to them
‘Cause what do they know
We need each other
To have, to hold
They’ll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you’ve got to hold on

They’ll see in time
I know
We’ll show them together!

 

Toodles. ♥

Hello, world; It’s already May.

 

 

My favourite month of the year (because it’s my birthday month, yay!). And to think that it has been exactly one year since I started out as a real nurse. Feels amazing, to be honest. 🙂

 

Looking forward to all the wonderful things May will be surprising me with. I pray to You to show me a sign soon, and I shall wait (im)patiently. Hehe.

 

I’ll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway.

 

More updates soon!

Toodles. ♥

Forgive me if I st-stutter
From all of the clutter in my head.

Every day and night now, all I do is await good news that I hope You will bestow upon me.

Almost nothing else matters as much, for now. Until I unlock that door that will lead me on to the path of living my dream.

 

 

I won’t let myself back down, not this time. If I don’t have the courage to reach out for what I want, then I might as well not do this at all, ever. 

 

No more camouflage, I want to be exposed; And not be afraid to fall.

I’m gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I’m gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can’t have
But I’ve got to try

I’m gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will

image

 

Dear God, please please please please pleeeaaaaassssseeeeeeee! Make my dreams come true; let my dreams FIND ME. I’ve never asked for much, and I pray You will let me ask for this. Let me be able to muster all my courage and confidence that I have, and cannon ball into the water. Let me do it for ME.  Amin.

 

And no, I’m not exactly patient. I’m anxious, I’m nervous, and I’m dying to see how it unfolds. What You have designed along my path. Please show me a sign soon, I beg of you. Every day can be a torture, waiting for that sweet bliss that I hope You will soon shower me with. 🙁

 

 

Toodles. ♥

Hello, world.

It’s been a while since I blogged about work, or even life. Truth is, I’ve been drowning in work. So caught up with the shift hours that I’ve lost count of the hours, the days and the weeks. Much to my surprise, we are already approaching the end of early April.

Also, I’m kinda forced to acknowledge the obvious fact that I’m getting more exhausted each day. And to think I’ve only been working for almost a year! :O Incredible? Or disastrous? Whenever I feel like I’m too tired to keep going, I think about my lovely colleagues who have been moving onwards for YEARS. How are they doing it? Only God knows.

 

No, but really – I am tired. I want a break. I want a getaway.

I religiously visit Scrubs Magazine on a daily or every other day basis, just to catch up on the field of nursing in the other side of the world and also to seek for motivation. They’re doing a pretty good job, I simply love browsing the site. If you’re a nurse and you have some time to spare, do check them out! 🙂

Caring for patients with dementia isn’t getting any easier by the day. You would think that I would have gotten used to it by now, but nooooooo. Every day, it could be the same thing repeating itself and on certain days, it could something totally out of the world. It is unexpected and – I guess you can say – mind-blowing. In both good and bad aspects.

I’m getting mentally challenged with all the behavioural issues; I’m doing everything I can, trying to learn to deal with it in the best ways possible. My parents think I’m crazy, so young yet having to take care of elderly with dementia who exhibit various behavioural problems. Maybe because I’m coping, maybe because it became my comfort zone.

 

One thing for sure, I will always anticipate – but never will I get used to – the sundown syndrome. 

“People with dementia who ‘sundown’ experience periods of increased confusion and agitation as the sun goes down — and sometimes through the night.”

Oh. The. Horror.

Well, forgive me for blabbering a little too much on a topic that you may find very little interest in. But you just had a peek through the window of this nurse’s life. 😀 I’m bound to write a bit more of it here and there, every now and then. I hope some day, somehow it will pique your curiosity.

 

Not to mention, when I write about it, sometimes it just dawns on me why I’m still harping on about this tiresome work my life has revolved around. Simply because some way or another, I find meaning in it. And that’s all that matters, right?

 

Besides, when all else fails…

 

oh I love naps!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL NO, I’M JUST KIDDING.

 

 

But really, when all else fails…

 

:D!

 

When all else fails, when it seems as if you have nothing or no one to hold on to…just say a little prayer, have faith, and remember that you are never alone. 🙂

 

Toodles. ♥