Dear Diary | My 24th: A pleasant surprise & a personal revelation.

So I turned 24 last Thursday (Happy birthday, me! Yayyyy!). I had very much wanted to post something up on my birthday itself, seeing that I had no glorious plans for celebration. However, my apologies – everything was delayed because for the first time in my 24 years of birthdays, I received a very pleasant surprise on the stroke of midnight at my doorstep.

Here’s the story: I cooked myself a fantastic meal (lamb leg steak with mash potatoes and some sautéed vegetables) and was setting myself to cleaning the mess I made in the kitchen in preparation of my (usual) midnight rendezvous – baking. I was eager to try out Nigella Lawson’s Chocolate Cheesecake recipe (it’d be my first time baking a whole cake!!) as my home-made birthday cake. The cleaning must’ve distracted me because I actually forgot to count down to midnight. When suddenly, I heard someone knocking on my door. Pretty loud. I kinda froze. First of all, who on Earth could be knocking on my door at this hour (the shock of someone at my door erased all birthday anticipation)?! Secondly, why didn’t my porter call me?? Thirdly (as I called out to ask who was it at the door), I prayed to God let it not be some serial killer or kidnapper waiting to pounce on my poor shaken bones. Yes, I am rather morbid that way – I blame the fact that I watched too many episodes of CSI and Criminal Minds.

birthday dinner

My rather awesome pre-birthday dinner: Lamb leg steak with creamy mashed potatoes & sautéed veggies.

As I took a deep breath (and a huge leap of faith), I opened the door. *Dear God, please don’t let it be a serial killer, I promise to be good /sobs*

Only to be greeted by 2 very familiar faces yelling “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” in my face. Shocked, I was. All I could think of to say was “What are you guys doing here??? Now??? What’s going on???” (Clearly, not very clever and still fazed from the surprise.) And my 2 lovely friends (Pash & Doc) were just excited and swinging around 4 boxes in their hands and they were like we made you cupcakes! 24 of them to be exact! By now, I figured 3 minutes have passed since I opened the door and still I have had no courtesy to remember to invite them in. How rude.

birthday cakes

24 cupcakes! Surely they were trying to overload me with sugar and chocolate???

When I finally got to my senses and got them to come in, they launched into the whole story of how they baked the cupcakes just a few hours before and how they were hiding out in the courtyard while they waited for the clock to strike 12. And the amazing thing was how Pash had gotten Doc to participate in the baking process which really impressed me. At that point, I still haven’t gotten over the fact that I have been surprised because, as I have mentioned, this is the first time anyone has ever surprised me and I am just so touched. Not being bitter or anything but I have always been the one surprising people, not the other way round. So this time, I guess you could say I am overjoyed. Besides, I thought I was going to be settling in to a quiet night with some soft calming tunes while I attempt to bake my chocolate cheesecake. I ended up baking at 2am, after Doc left, and Pash was going to stay over and complete her lab report – which she didn’t start until 3am or something.

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Thank you so so much, guys. You have no idea how much this meant to me. <3

The initial content for this post was a complete different twist from what you’re reading right now. I had planned to write about celebrating me, myself and I; mainly because for years, I have failed to grasp the concept about how one’s birthday is really special to that one person alone. For years (as you can tell by now), I have almost always celebrated it by myself, away from friends and family, save the few birthdays that I had that someone special to celebrate it with.  And this year, I thought it was going to be no different. But this year, as the days leading up to my birthday passed, I realized that I was forming a grand celebration for myself in my mind. Nothing really fancy actually, just a little treat every single day for a week until my birthday, a shopping haul on the day itself and a nice little hair cut to go with. My wallet is crying right now, can you hear??? I had no intentions of reminding anyone else that it was going to be my birthday and I sure had no plans to celebrate it with anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be anti-social or anything. I just realized that this is about celebrating me. I have to know how to love myself, alone but not lonely. (Or so I thought). I know this is sounding very cliché right now, I really don’t mean it to but if you could only hear the conversations going on in my head you’ll understand just how dramatic I am.

 

But anyway, I guess it was a good thing that instead of posting up a birthday post on the day itself (which would have read almost like a self-conceited girl who can’t stop talking about her birthday), I got delayed and lived through the day to have come to another important discovery.

I received a birthday message from my Mom: “I miss you too, how I wished I could be with you on your birthday.”

And it just hit me (FINALLY?!) that my birthday is not only special to me, but to my parents; especially my MOM. Sorry Dad, I’m sure you were anxious as hell but the pain Mom went through was definitely more memorable than your pacing along the hospital corridors. I still love you very much :D!

Right at that moment, I know my Mom deserves to be celebrated alongside with me. Because I obviously wouldn’t be here without my parents, and certainly it is unfair if I keep raving about self-love and self-importance when clearly my parents have made an unspoken pledge of undying, unconditional love the minute they knew I existed in their lives.

So here’s to my 24th birthday, it’s not about me, myself and I anymore. It’s about celebrating my parents’ decision to have me brought to this world, and loving me just the way I am…unconditionally. Birthday wishes, I have plenty but let that be my secrets. For now.

Come just as you are to me,
Don’t need apologies;
Know that you are worthy.
I’ll take your bad days with your good,
Walk through the storm I would,
I do it all because I love you;

I love you
Unconditional, unconditionally;
I will love you unconditionally.

birthday cakes 2

Not looking very pretty but there you have it! My first ever home-baked birthday cake! 😀 (Now I just need more people to share it with; I can hardly finish it on my own)

I would also like to thank everyone who had me in your thoughts on my birthday and taking the time to leave me happy wishes (be it on Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, and all other social media platform I happened to be on) and most certainly not forgetting my soul mate, Kris who took the time to call me up at midnight to sing me a birthday song and then dragging me to Burger King the very next day before surprising me with A HECK LOAD OF CHOCOLATES AND A CHOCOLATE CARD. Well, the card wasn’t made of chocolate but there was a block of chocolate IN the card which amazed me crazy. And not forgetting Jeff for putting away your ego and singing a birthday song to me at midnight via WhatsApp, I AM TOUCHED. :’) THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL, SO MUCH LOVE /sobs.

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4 boxes of cupcakes, 2 cards, 2 blocks of chocolates, a box of Lush goodies – I’m one happy kid. ♥

So I hope you enjoy this little (but rather long) insightful discovery (& story) on my part, albeit a few years late perhaps, but better than never. I hope I’ll be up to posting on my travels once again, right after I sorted out my photos (THERE’S SO MANY, I’M LOSING CONTROL). Sigh. ‘Tis the consequence of procrastination.

If any of you have some wise words you would like to impart to me as a birthday gift, please do so – leave me a comment or two, I’d love to hear from you! 🙂

Toodles. ♥

2 Comments

  1. Yiny May 30, 2014 / 03:54

    I LOVEEEE how passionate, positive and enthusiastic you are about life, Zunny. and I guess that’s why you have so many amazing people coming up with amazing surprises for you on your very chocolate-y (lol) birthday no matter where you are. Keep up the enthusiasm, missing you much, and Happpppyyy 24th!!! *hugs!*

    • Alex May 31, 2014 / 00:54

      Thank you so so much Yiny! <3 One can only try to be hopeful in life, or drown in their despair. Which happens to me at times, I'm only human that way – and this is why we all need chocolate in our lives! :D!

      Love youuuuuuu missing you so much too! *hugs*!

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